Over to Ruth

Hullo this is Ruth and these are my Oscar picks. I used to be quite cocky about the annual face off between Luigi and myself -- mainly because I always won. I won for years and years and years and years. Then Luigi moved to a place where he could actually see some of the movies that were nominated and he started winning. Which is weird because movies win Oscars for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with how good they are and you should be able to pick the winners without having seen any of them. Anyway, now that Jeremy's in the running I hope to start winning again, or at least to not be the biggest loser. Okay, without further ado…

Ruth's Oscar Picks!

• Best Picture: Lord of the Rings. Haven't seen it, don't want to. I'm not into that sort of thing. But people who are think it's the GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD and it's just so damn big it simply can't lose. Like that stupid Titanic movie but with pointy ears. BTW, we went to the Central Market yesterday and they were selling pewter goblets in the shape of all the Lord of the Rings characters. People are weird.

• Best Director: Sofia Coppola. It would be so cool if she won. Like Jer I loved loved loved Lost in Translation. And I love the whole passing the baton thing and the fact that she's a woman and, especially the fact that everybody was so mean to her about Godfather 3 and now she's showed them and then some.

• Best Actor: Bill Murray. That was such an awesome performance. It was the perfect mixture of goofiness and below the surface pain. I love Bill Murray. Groundhog Day is one of the best movies ever, even if it has now been adopted by all of the world's major religions as the perfect expression of (insert your faith here).

• Best Supporting Actor: Alec Baldwin. I've actually not seen any of these movies. Tim Robbins won't win because he's too political -- and not just about the breast thing either. Benicio del Toro just won a few years ago and is unlikely to win again so soon. I've never heard of the other guys. And Alec Baldwin is, well, a Baldwin. Sooo cute, even despite the hairy back.

• Best Actress: Charlize Theron. Because Hollywood thinks it's a supreme act of courage for a beautiful actress to gain some weight and not wash her hair for a couple of days. It would be nice if Diane Keaton won although Charlize probably does deserve it. I can't get over Diane Keaton's body in that movie. Who would have thought she was hiding such a great body under all those schmatter (Jeremy gave me the spelling for that word so if it's wrong, please write in and make fun of him).

• Best Supporting Actress: Renée Zellwegger. Because a couple years ago she performed the supreme act of courage when she gained all that weight for Bridget Jones' Diary (even though she whined about it incessantly). Actually she was pretty good in this movie once she stopped camping around like Daisy Mae.

• Best Costume Design: I predict that Lord of the Rings will win best picture and lots of the little ones that nobody cares about or ever remembers. Like Best Costume Design (although I do know that Edith Head won more Oscars for costume design than anyone else in history -- or at least that used to be true).

• Best Song: You Will Be My Ain True Love. I actually vaguely remember this from Cold Mountain. I thought it was pretty.

Okay, all done. Thanks Jeremy for allowing me this platform. And I want to also thank my parents, all the other actors, the director, my dog, God and … Sorry, got carried away.

Hey, Luigi! You readin' this? Let the games begin!

P.S. 1 January 2016: I used to take this pretty seriously. I think they still do. I no longer care enough to try.